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Free Monthly Talk:

Caring for Aging Parents: An Emotional Roller Coaster

6:30pm 3rd Monday of each month

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If you'd like to schedule an appointment online, click here

Are you caring for aging parents?

Is it stressful trying to meet everyone's needs—yours, your family's, and your elderly parent's?

Do you resent your siblings, or others, for not helping you care for your aging parents?

If you're struggling to take care of aging parents at the same time you're dealing with your own feelings about this new role, you're not alone. Most adult children of aging parents aren't prepared for the demands of this new "job" or the emotions that come with it.

For one thing it's usually trial by fire: something happens and you suddenly have to figure out what your elderly parents need and who can provide those services. Not many adult children expect that one day their parents will rely on them instead of the other way around.

All of this can make you feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster. You may feel helpless as you try to help your parents or get them the help they need. It's not uncommon to also feel resentful if they don't appreciate your efforts to help or make excessive demands on you and your time. Often one sibling is responsible for most of the care their parents require, which can cause negative feelings.

Caring for aging parents doesn't have to be a struggle.

I specialize in helping adult children of aging parents deal with the issues that come up when they're caring for aging parents.

Learning to communicate openly and honestly and asking for what you need can help reduce negative feelings. I can teach you the skills to do this in a way that isn't threatening to your parents or other family members. Small steps can add up to big changes.

Understanding how and when to set boundaries and finding time to take care of yourself can decrease your stress so you can enjoy the time you spend with your parents. Not only is this possible, it's necessary so you can be there for your parents over the long haul. I can help you learn how to do this so that it can actually benefit everyone.

Finding ways to talk with your siblings and defining roles can increase the feeling that you aren't in this alone. Siblings and other family members can be a great support. I can help you develop the skills to talk with them so they can understand why their support and skills are needed and how they can help.

Caring for your aging parents can be an opportunity for greater closeness with your family.

If you'd like to see if this is possible for you please contact me.

Lynne Coon, MS — counselor serving communities in the greater Portland metropolitan area including: Portland, Vancouver, Lake Oswego, Tigard, Tualatin, Beaverton, Milwaukie, Oregon City, Hillsboro, Forest Grove, King City, West Linn, Wilsonville, Gresham, Troutdale, Scappoose, St Helens, Camas, Brush Prairie, Battle Ground, and Multnomah County, Clackamas County, Washington County and Clark County.